Jeremy was the kind of guy who always wanted the best of everything. he spent his days searching internet consumer opinion sites to determine who made the best omelet, which was the best high speed internet service, and who created the best looking web sites. he was heavily influenced by the opinions of others and as long as it was considered the best – whatever – he had to have it. of course he decided at some point that he had to have the best tan and he set out on a bit of a quest to find the best self tanning lotion.
Self tanning is essentially the acquisition of a fake tan, achieved by using a self tanning or sunless tanning lotion. For Jeremy, only the best self tanning lotion would do. even though the tan wasn’t necessarily the best (it was fake, after all), but as long as others thought it was the best tan, that was all that mattered to Jeremy. as I mentioned, the opinions of others meant a great deal to him.
As Jeremy searched for the best self tanning lotion he went through all kinds of trial and error tests. The first one he managed to discover was the old Coppertone QT – quick Tanning Lotion. he knew that Coppertone was one of the best brands in tanning for a very long time and that QT was the first ever self tanning lotion, introduced in 1960. he decided that if it was the first it must be the best. he was wrong, as anyone who has ever seen the results of QT can attest to. this stuff turned him as orange as an Oompa Loompa. he used some of the best soap and the hottest water he could stand to wash it off. he continued trying different brands and styles of self tanning lotions, convinced he would one day find the best self tanning lotion available anywhere.
Some may think that Jeremy’s search was in vain. how would he know when he found the best lotion? self tanning lotions all do pretty much the same thing and act in more or less the same way (with the exception of the old QT – self tanning technology has advanced quite a bit since then) and the best must surely be a matter of opinion in many cases. that was really the point, however, as far as Jeremy was concerned. as long as he could deem it the best himself, it wouldn’t matter what anyone else thought. Happily, Jeremy did indeed find the best lotion. self tanning became something he would do every few days for most of the rest of his life since he’d spent so much time in his search. Which lotion did Jeremy deem the best? I honestly don’t know. his search made him a little bitter and cynical. Every time I asked him what the best self tanning lotion was he’d tell me to go find it myself.
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